To you.
Yo.
Recent events brought this story of mine back to mind. Most of you know this story, but some of you haven't had the pleasure...and I have an update of sorts to add to it. Here is "Part Deux" of "The Story Nobody Should Tell At A Party."
-WARNING...EXTREMELY GROSS POST FOLLOWING WITH REFERENCES TO DOODY-
Once upon a time (5 years ago), in a land far, far away (the Science Building), I went to the restroom before my geography class (which I never finished). After completing the necessary procedures, I stood up and something caught my eye. Looking down, I noticed, quite shockingly, that "it" was BRIGHT GREEN. This wasn't your regular green either. It looked as though I had just eaten about 9 highlighters.
BRIGHT GREEN.
Afterwards I kept trying to think of how it happened. What was strange was that I felt nothing. I wasn't sick, my stomach wasn't upset, I didn't even have gas (I told you this post was gross)! It made no sense. I felt fine. Completely fine. Fine and dandy. So what was going on?
I needed a scapegoat. The day before I had gorged on sushi and ingested a bunch of seaweed. This was as likely as anything so I accepted that and moved on.
Until last week.
I haven't had sushi in awhile and IT CAME BACK. Try to imagine this if you will (just shut up and do it. It's funny). You're "Taking Care of Business" feeling just fine and dandy, you stand up and BLAMMO!! Green doody!! What the hell?! Is there some weird thing in my colon that colors it green? Did I swallow a crayon? WHY IS IT GREEN??!!
I've decided I'm just not going to worry about it until either the whites of my eyes turn green or I die. I don't really have the desire to give it more attention than that so there you go. I don't feel sick so I must not be sick, right? Right?? RIGHT??!!
That's right.
NOTE: I am not one of those weird people who check out their doody. That's how bright it was.
7 comments:
Um... I don't think I even know what to say.... Except... ah... Nope, I really don't know what to say.
I've found that eating a whole lot of Fruit Loops will create the same effect (bright green poop).
You ate a bunch of spinach or asparagus. Am I right?
So...spinach and asparagus...too much of a good thang.
Actually, no. I hadn't had any of that...so it remains a mystery.
FOR NOW.
Did you have any blue Powerade?
Not recently. Though I didn't know it could do that. Hm.
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