Monday, May 28, 2007

Mis compras/My purchases

Here is just a sampling of my recent purchases. Some of these pictures were taken for people by their request.

That reminds me...

If you want to see a picture of something, anything (provided it's legal and won't do me bodily harm), I will post it on here for you. Tell me what you want to see!

Moving on...

For Jennifer



These knives were only 3 effing dollars!



Que calidad.



For Ruben.



Platos nuevos.



After IKEA on Wednesday I got some things from the British Market downtown.



Let's take a closer look at that dish soap, shall we?



1 shot orange squash+2 shots bitter lemon+1 shot lingonberry apple soda+1 shot citrus vodka=a cocktail of delicious proportions. I'd like to call it a "Limey Swede" but some people might get offended.



I also bought a neti pot. So far it works well.



Scary Lady shows you how to use the neti pot. Heed Scary Lady or there will be consequences.



Okay. Time for an herbal salt bath. Bye!

El fin de semana/The weekend

Hey there!

Did you have a nice Memorial Day weekend? I did. Unfortunately none of my relatives are buried in Utah so I didn't visit their graves, but I guess that could be a positive thing too if you look at it with the right sunglasses.

Let me recap what I did since the day to day meanderings of yours truly are SO VERY INTERESTING they must be posted on the Internet for the world to see (please don't stalk me).

Friday

Friday evening was just delightful. My good friend Ashley invited me to her grandparents house (read: HUGE-ASS FRIGGING MANSION) for swimming and a barbecue. Jordan, Kevin, Jackie, Jordan's brother (also Mike), his girlfriend Alicia and Ashley's girlfriend Teresa all came. It was a blast! We swam and hot-tubbed and swam and ate hamburgers (veggie burgers for me), swam, hot-tubbed and swam some more. Then we swam.

OH. Ashley's grandparents' pool has TOYS AND A SLIDE.

Enough said.

(AWESOME.)

Saturday

On Saturday I went with my friend Hannah to IKEA. Hannah is leaving in 2 months for graduate school and I am going to miss her so much! We had such a wonderful time. Afterward we went to Oasis Cafe for lunch and it was delicious (the food as well as the server). I had a vegan tasting plate which was a cup of hummus, a cup of some yummy olive tapenade, 10 pita triangles and a cucumber tomato salad. Scrumptious!

Saturday night was not good. I had left my cell phone at home and knew that Jackie and everyone wanted to do something in the city. I figured if I got home by 6 it would be okay because that's usually when we leave. Well...I got all the way back home to discover everyone had left at 5:30 to catch a movie. That really sucked. It was completely my fault too because I didn't have my phone and didn't think to CALL them as we always text message each other now.

Lesson learned.

I could have driven back down there to join them for dinner but I fell asleep (which is what I do when frustrated). Then I just didn't want to go anywhere. At all. I was angry. Saturday night pretty much blew chunks. At least it was my doing, and not someone else's. Nobody made it suck but me.

Heh. That would be a funny t-shirt.

"Nobody made it suck but me."

Heh.

Hopefully I didn't lose any friends from my weirdness that night. Moving on...

Sunday

On Sunday my mom, (Aunt) Karen and I went to IKEA. Yes I went three times this week. We had lunch there and I must say, the quality of food has not changed one bit since the last time I ate at an IKEA restaurant. The veggie sandwich I had was incredible. So incredible that my mom took a bite from a quarter of it and refused to give that back. She gave me the rest of her salmon though so it was all good.

I HAD LINGONBERRY JUICE AGAIN. GOD HOW I MISSED LINGONBERRY JUICE.

At this point I have purchased so many items there I lost count and can't remember all there was. That's when it's time to stop (for a little bit).

We went home afterward and I did laundry at my parents' house. I do so much laundry there I might as well give them the dryer sheets and detergent I have. It never gets used over here.

MONDAY

I slept in until noon and am now writing this. I'm going over to my parents' house again for a barbecue at 5.

UPDATE: I wrote that, went to my parents, didn't take the file with me, and am now posting from the fountain plaza thing on campus. It's a beautiful day. My mom made shrimp skewers WITH GRILLED PINEAPPLE. It was fantastic. There is a bug on my neck. Ew.

It has been a nice weekend. Thank you to everyone who helped make it so. You're wonderful. :-)

Thursday, May 24, 2007

IKEA Day/Dia de IKEA (hey that rhymed...)

Hi there! IT'S OPEN EVERYBODY!! IKEA DRAPER IS OPEN!!

So yesterday was a BLAST. I got there about 25 minutes before the store opened. It was crowded, but not as bad as I thought. They handled pedestrian and street traffic really well and getting what I needed (or, what I didn't think I needed but realized I did shortly after seeing it on the shelf) was EASY PEASY!

Here are the pictures!

On my way...

MAD CRAZY Draper traffic.

PARKED.

They actually CHEERED as we walked in. I got a $10 giftcard because I was one of the first thousand to enter the store or something like that.

TIME TO SHOP.

Reason #477 to attend an IKEA grand opening.
Free frisbees and giftcards.

This band played mostly Corinne Bailey Rae covers.
They were really good.


So there you go! I can't wait to go back. My mom wants to go on Sunday. We're so totally going.

HOORAY FOR IKEA!!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Happy Monday!

Did you have a nice weekend? I did. Thanks for asking. Here’s what happened:

FRIDAY

After work Jackie and I went to the coffee house to play on our laptops (see previous post). Kevin and Jordan met us there and we went to dinner at a Mexican place afterward. While waiting for our food (which was ho-hum), Jackie decided to pass the time taking pictures of us pretending to be sad.

Jordan


Kevin (This was as “sad” as he could get. He seriously has to be the cheeriest person I’ve ever met.)


Me


After that we went to Jordan’s parents’ house where they are staying until June and watched Mystery Science Theater 3000. I forgot how HILARIOUS that show was.

SATURDAY

Saturday morning Jackie, Kevin, Jordan and I went to Strut Your Mutt (link) to walk for homeless pets in Utah. It was great! We met Jackie’s friend Lindsay and her family there and had our pictures taken as a group for the event. These are the pictures I took.

Jackie’s doggie Maverick!


Jordan’s doggie Flick!


Lindsay’s dogs Sitka, Sierra and Nikita (so pretty!)


Park


Park some more


This shirt is the best shirt ever


The Trio


Wrong way!


Hi!


Muffin Shirt!


THUGG LYFE!!


After Strut Your Mutt we went to Jackie’s house and she grilled veggie burgers for us all. Thank you Jackie! That was so good!

Then, full of veggie burger deliciousness, we all went to our respective homes and passed out for several hours. I also visited my parents and did laundry over there. It was nice to see them as always, and my mom made my favorite tilapia dish with bread crumbs and olive oil with sautéed green beans. I love that stuff. Thanks mom!

Since Jordan’s parents have a pool, and he and Kevin will only be there another couple weeks, we HAD to use it. HAD TO. So around 9-ish we had a pool party with beer. Mmm. Beer. There’s just something about a summer night in an outdoor pool that is so awesome – especially when you add beer. Thanks Jordan’s parents!

SUNDAY

Sunday I slept in and did absolutely nothing and it was wonderful.

So that was my weekend. How was yours? What did you do? Do tell.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Wasamattayu?

Hi! I am blogging with my friend Jackie from the coffee house down the street. I just heard someone say "Whasamattayu?" all Hollywood Style like that guy in that movie I can't remember the name of right now. Do you know? Tell me if you do.

Guess what?? Jackie just gave me a 1 GB flash drive!! HOT DAMN!! She is now putting music on a loaner iPod Shuffle for me to workout with as mine broke too. She is just wonderful. I'm so glad we're friends. What the hell would I do without her? I'll tell you what...EXERCISE IN DEAFENING SILENCE. That's what.

Love you Jackie!!

She's wearing a black dress shirt with a pink tie too. That is so hot.

What else is new...hm...OH! I started my math class this week! The professor seems very nice and so far I haven't had any major problems with the material. The prognosis is good. Thus far. Yes.

Also I am taking this Wednesday off TO GO TO THE GRAND OPENING OF IKEA DRAPER. I cannot wait. It's going to be an absolute crazy zoo from hell but I don't care. That's not the point. As long as I can walk around a little and have some delicious Scandinavian foodstuffs from the restaurant (you know how much I love Scandinavian foodstuffs) I'll be happy as a clam...er...lingonberry.

YAY!! My friends Jordan and Kevin are here now! Gotta go!!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Too funny not to share.

This is a clip from the first episode of "Téléfrançais", a French language show produced by TVO's French language affiliate, TFO. You can see how massive their budget was. The talking, dancing pineapple just really makes it for me.

At least they TRIED to teach children French. You have to give them that.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Blogging 3.0

Wow.

I am currently on campus, lounging on a bench in a brick-paved plaza directly next to a lake with an enormous fountain. In front of me is a cream and sandstone colored building with a massive, tree-covered mountain spotted with tan cliffs as a backdrop. The air is dry and cool and I am surrounded by beautiful desert native brush and trees. The fountain is going full force and my typing is orchestrated with a steady "Wooooosh" of the aqueous spray - which also creates a cool breeze. It's getting darker but lampposts abound, casting plenty of light though the sun hasn't set despite it's 9 p.m. Through the trees, the Visual Arts building glows in all it's post-modern glassy splendor and not a single person is around to break the silence.

Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe blogging cannot possibly get any more fantastic than this.

Oh...did I mention this connection is FREE and SECURED by the university? Also that this is a block from my apartment?

Exactly.

I am in blogging heaven.

That, and I am a total nerd.

Oooh...I should bring my webcam next time. Hee hee hee.

Should I feel guilty?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Free Internets?

Oooh!

Taken from XMission's website.

XMission Unveils Plans for Free Wireless Service in Ogden


Salt Lake City and Ogden, Utah (April 20, 2007) — XMission, Utah’s first and largest independent Internet service provider, has teamed up with the City of Ogden to bring free and low-cost wireless access services to residents and visitors of the Utah city.

According to Mayor Matthew Godfrey, “Ogden is excited to be partnering with XMission on a new model for offering ubiquitous broadband access. This model allows it to occur without competing with the private sector or going into debt.”

XMission will design, build, and power the expansive Ogden Wi-Fi network, eventually spanning 28 square miles, and serving 78,000 residents and thousands of annual visitors. Ogden’s residents and visitors will have access to several low and no cost wireless service options within the city’s connected areas.

To keep costs at a minimum, the wireless service is being financed by a number of sources including sponsorship from XMission, funds from the City of Ogden, and equal access technology grants from the Economic Development Council. Ogden will reinvest a portion of project revenues back into the city.

“XMission's wireless with Ogden City is a prime example of what private/public partnerships can do to benefit the citizenry instead of taking advantage of them,” said Pete Ashdown, President and CEO of XMission. “With other projects costing the taxpayer millions of dollars for questionable outcomes, XMission's wireless will provide concrete opportunity for all in Ogden without financial risk.”

Free wireless users will enjoy their first hour of Internet access with no bandwidth restrictions and then a 40 kbps connection for each subsequent logged-in hour, while existing XMission customers can receive extended free access to the service at full speeds. XMission and Ogden also plan to offer an exclusive wireless access account.

The project in its entirety is scheduled to roll-out in strategic phases during a five year period. Phase 1, currently under construction, provides Wi-Fi coverage for Historic 25^th Street, the park surrounding the Ogden Municipal building and the Marshal White recreational facility and park. Secondary phase 1 deployment areas will extend coverage to the Treehouse, the Technology Center, and additional portions of the business district. Phase 2 will include residential wireless implementations. Phase 3 will provide coverage to new city development projects including the River Walk project, gondolas, and the city’s new transportation hub.

A longtime advocate for driving economic development through Internet technologies, Ogden has been recognized as one of the top U.S. “Digital Cities” by Government Technology Magazine for three years in a row, and is well known for its world-class recreational activities, historic business district, and its selection as a major venue city for the 2002 Winter Olympics. According to Godfrey, “Pete Ashdown’s vision for his company meshes well with ours. We both believe everyone should have access to broadband technology at lower costs.”

XMission recently funded and deployed wireless network installations at Liberty Park and Pioneer Park, both located in downtown Salt Lake City, and provides free wireless access to the Salt Lake City Library, The Gallivan Center, and on Main Street. For more information about XMission’s wireless Internet networks throughout Salt Lake City, please visit http://www.xmission.com/wireless/.

Friday, May 11, 2007

It begins?

It started out simply enough. "Cancel your internet service at home Michael" I thought. "They completely screwed up your billing and still haven't sent you the return labels for your modem."

So I did.

Then some problems followed.

When one builds their life around modern technology and the ability to connect to the world from anywhere to anyone, certainly slicing that connection completely would lend to some complications.

(How many words in that sentence start with a C?)

Let me just tell you what's been going on.

I have been wandering around like an orphaned child, wondering where and when I would be able to connect to the damn internet JUST TO CHECK MY EMAIL PLEASE JUST FOR A SECOND?! PLEASE??!!

Like a data-coke fiend.

So intense were my feelings to reconnect to the only time-waster I really know without returning to my previous service provider (they really were awful) that I found myself taking drastic measures.

Quite drastic.

Let me just tell you now that Gmail is very hard to read with one's tiny, cheap cell phone and that the library only allows you TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES of access.

TWENTY-FIVE.

I've come to a solution though. So far, now that it's starting to pan out, it has been working for me. I have purchased a new laptop (HP dv6000n) and am currently posting from the coffee house down the street which offers TWENTY-FOUR HOURS of access for TWO DOLLARS or ONE DOLLAR with a purchase.

This peach iced tea is good.

Honestly I've wanted to do this for a long time. I've wanted to maintain my access yet in a way that would allow me to be out and about, not holed up in my bedroom. I think this is a good idea and don't mind the fact there are people walking all over the place and anyone could read my screen.

Actually...they CAN'T because it's that special kind of screen that you can't see from different angles! Ha!

So this is good. This is really good. Honestly it has to be! Have you seen a longer post than this one on here lately? I'm inspired to write just for the hell of it!

I'm going to refill my iced tea. You have a good night.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Una otra poema.

Plastic Spirit
by Pjamms


If you’re not careful
you too can be a human widget

Invulnerable

Starkly punchcarding along
to the nervous tick
of a cathode-ray god

All is neatly within the spreadsheet cell
but every so often

Without much of a warning

The mind has a glorious system crash
developing an irreparable disk fragment
and for a chunk of tick-tock time

We remember how to breathe

But don’t get comfy

All it takes is a pinch

(lust, gluttony, greed, et al.)

The capital vice on your brain
squeezes a little tighter
until it’s unbearable

Expert hands are called upon

to file that chunk
purge that file
and get you back “into shape”

Widgets.

Once again
life emerges

As a dialog box
blink-twitching the eternal question

OK or Cancel?

Haikus and IKEA

First of all, my friend Jackie took this picture of IKEA Draper with me last Saturday. It must be shared.



Secondly, my friend Jennifer (who is an awesome dog trainer/walker/
everything if you happen to live in San Francisco) and I decided to write each other text messages in haiku form. It was so much fun! We may do it again. For sure. Her dog's name is Merlin, by the way, which will explain one of the messages.

Here is how our conversation went:

Me (taken from a shirt on Threadless):

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

(I totally want that t-shirt)

Her response:

You are so right yo
They seem easy uh sometimes
But sometimes they aren't

Me:

Dog watching lady
Merlin's constant friendly face
Warms her heart each day

Her:

Utah has good things
One of them is great Michael
Also there's Sundance

Me:

People dressed in black
During Sundance walk Main Street
Lost Californians

Her:

Paul Newman has won
He is the King of Dressing
Redford looks real olde (sic)

Me:

Dude your haikus rock
Texting you is so much fun
While driving my car

(In my defense I was stuck in gridlock)

Her:

No haiku and drive
The police frown upon it
We are watching Cops

At this point I told her we had to put these on my blog. She agreed.

Texting a Haiku
Taking the old and the new
Blending into one

TRY IT!

Monday, May 07, 2007

¡Ay ay ay!

I am laughing so hard right now. This was just overheard in the hallway:

Person 1: Remember Masterpiece Theatre?
Person 2: Yeah! Wasn't that the program hosted by that lady with the horse mouth?
Person 1: No, that was um...Shelley Duvall on Faerie Tale Theatre. Masterpiece Theatre had that dead guy...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Erm...

Sometimes revisiting the past can help you see just how much things have changed for the better.

Heh.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

ATTENTION.

Ladies and gentlemen...

(taps mic)

I would just like to inform you that MICHELLE HAS CONTACTED ME.

I REPEAT...MICHELLE HAS CONTACTED ME AND SHE'S DOING WELL.

Thank you.

(walks off stage)

Friday, May 04, 2007

Ikea Update

The website is done!

Ikea Draper

Poems of stuff.

Hi.

I've been sitting on this poem for quite some time and think it might be (somewhat) finished (if that's possible). So here you go. There's at least one more in the wings so we'll see how it goes.

Reduced for Quick Sale
by Pjamms

My soul weeps
from muscle tissue

Fingers drip
self sauce
with gravitational force
pooling it in
the supermarket floor drain

en route to the sewer

as I open
the gleaming metal freezer door

discovering
the rich Latin American
culinary heritage
of my departed abuelita

Reduced

to a litho print
complete with smiling toucan
on the back of a box
of frozen taquitos

made with love
by a robot
in New Jersey.



Wednesday, May 02, 2007

IT'S NOON. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CELLPHONE IS?

I’m in shock.

I’m typing this in stone cold silence.

Staring straight ahead.

Due to the fact there is no energy left in my body after a lengthy bout of extreme, high-energy laughter.

The kind that makes you cry.

Great.

Googly.

Moogly.

How in the hell do I get myself into these situations? Allow me to explain.

I was talking on my cellphone and had to use the restroom. The call ended before going into the restroom but I still had the phone in my hands. After completing my business (number two, that is) I got up and went over to wash my hands. Finished with that, I looked around and realized my phone was missing. “Wherever did it go?” I thought.

Looking in the stall, on the sink, and everywhere else turned up nothing. “Did I leave it in my office? Maybe it’s on my desk.” I thought while walking back.

As I entered the doorway, my very good co-worker promptly returned our previous phone call to let me know of some additional information.

Also, at that point my ASS started to RING AND VIBRATE.

It dawned on me that my phone, somehow, had slipped into my pants and was now in my crotch, propped just high enough to be securely fastened alongside the back seam.

Yes.

Yes it was.

I won’t get into much detail at what transpired after that point, nor will I tell you how very odd it felt as the phone vibrated, but I will provide this example:

Have you ever put a sock on a cat's head or a circular toy around a dog's neck and watched them squirm and jerk and generally FREAK the FUCK OUT trying to get it off?

It was like that.

Remembering the layout of the standard pair of pants, I realized all I needed to do was A) CALM DOWN and B) Move my leg just so and the phone would slide out. I flung my door shut (BAM!!) and did this. The phone was free.

But I couldn’t touch it. Hell no.

Leaving it on the floor in my office I ran to the supply closet, in tears at this point, and grabbed 2-3 Clorox Wipes to retrieve said phone and disinfect it thusly. I called my co-worker back from the landline and didn’t bother to mention this little “incident” nor explain why I wasn't using my phone. Ever again.

Thank GOD I didn’t sit down first and that nobody else was in the hallway!

Now I must shop for a new phone. Immediately.

(Okay…the laughing is back.)

Just say no to Jamaica

You know I like to travel, however Jamaica is not a country I wish to visit any time soon.

This might have something to do with it.

This too.

Thank you Andee for the info.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Traducción/Translation

I should probably translate the previous post. It's not that interesting of a post to be honest, but why not?

Today I'm going to try to write this blog post in Spanish. I don't know how to say "blog post" in Spanish but that's not important.

"But Michael," you say "Why? You're crazy."

I studied Spanish for two years but never spoke it outside of class. There are no reasons for that. Well, there are reasons but not good ones (I'm American and English is my first language and it's easier to speak and write in English, I have family in Costa Rica I don't like at all, I'm afraid of making a mistake, blahblahblahBLAH).

Spanish is the foreign language I understand more than any other AND MY MOM CAN SPEAK IT WITH ME.

Yes.

So I hope I can write in Spanish from time to time.

That is all.

Bye.

The rest of the blog post was in English so there you go.