What's on yer mind?

What's on my mind...??

I wish I didn't have cold sore medication on my lips because I could go for a bowl of soup right about now. My lips are slathered with medication because I noticed a small bump on the lip above the cold sore which could be ANOTHER cold sore.

Oh f@$k no.

No no no.

No.

I have never had two at the same time. Ever. And I won't. Do you know why I won't? Because I will RIP MY LIPS OFF if another one forms because they are WORTHLESS AND FULL OF HERPES.

That's right. Cold sores are caused by HERPES. Not the "Bow Chicka Bow Bow" herpes, just regular type (yes, there is a regular type).

*BEGIN BORING MEDICAL EXPLANATION*

Cold sores, or fever blisters, are caused by the Herpes Simplex Virus One, which resides in a dormant state in approximately 80% of the world's population. Most people contract the virus before age seven. The actual virus lies within facial nerves directly above the lips. When something triggers it (such as stress, fatigue, whathaveyounobodygivesahoot), it travels down the nerve to the lips, where it causes a HUGE, DISGUSTING, FLUID CHOKED RED SPLOTCH OF HORRID PROPORTIONS.

The blemish (HAH!! MY ASS!!) has five main stages. The first stage is called the Tingle stage. This is the stage in which you feel a slight bump and a tingling sensation in the area where the sore is developing (like the f@$%#&g spot on my upper lip where another motherf@#*%&g sore wants to make me hideous).

The second stage - The Blister stage - is when the first blistering occurs (and it hurts like hell). They are small, painful little bastards which sometimes join up with their homies to create a large, painful bastard.

Stage three is the Weeping stage (Wahoo!). The blister ruptures and leaves a flat, red sore which turns white. This is when they are the most contagious so stay away from babies, the elderly and domestic pets! You'll kill 'em!! (Okay you won't but it sounds good right? Plus I don't like kids.)

Weeping is followed by The Crusting stage. Due to the fact it's on your lips and dry, it will crust over and could split, causing bleeding. Wonderful, glorious bleeding. It also feels like someone has put a match to your face. SPLENDID!

The Healing (NOT!!) stage is the final stage before the virus travels down it's nerve to spite you and start the whole bats@%t clusterf*&k all over again. Scabs form and fall off over and over until it (HOPEFULLY) heals up without scarring.

Hopefully.

*END BORING MEDICAL EXPLANATION*

So there you have it. An explanation I gleaned off various medical reference sites this afternoon in a glum stupor because reading it only reinforced the fact I am DOOMED to be this way FOREVER. Oh...did I mention there is no cure or proven antibiotic for it? Yeah. That too. Though after writing this, for some reason, I feel better now. Well, except for my lip.

Have a nice night.

Bow chicka bow bow...