Boo Diddley

Remember that Simpsons episode where Homer imitates Flanders' voice with a mannequin because the real Flanders was dead? Remember how Maude was talking to it and Homer was screeching in a high-pitched voice and ending every sentence unnaturally with "DIDDLY!!"

Heh heh heh. That was awesome. Too bad Maude died later.

Anyway how are you? Good? Thing going well? Can I offer you something to drink? Diddly? Good. Great. Good. Good.

That totally felt like a conversation huh?

Yeah. You're right. It was lame.

Last night I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill. While I was doing so I watched "Dallas S.W.A.T." on A&E. The men on the S.W.A.T. team made me feel like a tubby underachiever and I couldn't change the channel because it was upstairs where the communal telesets are. Stupid communal telesets! Oh well. I think I've lost some more weight but it's not certain as I was so heavy to begin with a large loss would be barely noticeable. There is a desktop widget on my Mac lappy which calculates your BMI (Body Mass Index). Certain percentages deem you obese, overweight, normal and underweight. The developers of this handy tool wanted to make it clear which category you belonged to so they animated a little doll who changes in body weight based on the final result of your calculation.

It's not pretty, folks.

When I put in my weight not only does the doll bloat to mystical proportions, but it STARTS TO FROWN AS WELL.

I'm dead serious.

This little darling cherub's face falls and it looks at me through puffy, fatty eyes seemingly saying "Why did you do this to me? I was so happy before..." If they added a crying feature it would make this delightful application complete, wouldn't you say?

GAWD.

At least I know where I stand (heh heh). In 40 pounds I will be in the "Normal" category and the happy little cherub will be happy once again!

Unless of course it wants a new outfit. That's crossing the damn line.

Bye!!