Foogoomahgoo.

So for some odd reason, Rod Stewart's "Love Touch" has been floating through my head for the past few days.

What does that MEAN??

Anyway I have a stack of little notes with blog post ideas scribbled on them (it's what I do). None of them sound interesting right now. Unfortunately there's really nothing else to write about.

I worked out again for the first time since July. It felt good but not as good as one would hope. All I did was walk on the track and use the elliptical trainer so that might be why. Booooooriiiiiing. I want to mix up my routine but don't really know how to do it. Any ideas?

Last week we had an office party. It was planned to be held the same night the Steelers (of which my boss is a RABID fan) and the Eagles (of which my coworker is a RABID fan) played each other. My coworker decided to paint her nails silver and green (the Eagles' colors) to irritate my boss. When she came back from getting the nail polish, she said it was really hard to find green polish. The only option, apparently, was what she called "Hoochie Mama" green (complete with SPRINKLES!) and chartreuse. I asked her if she went with the Hoochie Mama green without even thinking how odd it was that I knew what chartreuse looked like and that it wouldn't match the Eagles' colors.

I don't even watch football.

She said that was the only choice and showed me her silver polish, or "Disco Ball." It was a lovely shade of tinfoil. Ahhhhh. The nails were highly effective in razzing my boss, especially when my coworker's husband wore his Eagles jersey. Heh. The game blared in the living room while we all talked outside with beer and hamburgers having a grand time. I don't remember who won, and I don't even think anyone announced it. What I do remember is one of the players, who must be of Latin American descent, turning around showing his last name, "COLON", written in large yellow capital letters across his back. Tee hee.

To be honest Hoochie Mama looked really good with Disco Ball.

In closing, here is a picture I made after listening to Nine Inch Nails (actually I didn't take the picture - I just defaced it).

Mon petit choux.

I went to the mall after work today to look at new cell phone plans. The one I have isn't that great of a deal and I can get a discount by switching to a certain company which shall go unnamed. Alright it's Cingular.

Anyhoodle, I had to walk through Sears to get to the main mall but needed the restroom first. After doing what it is one does in the restroom I went to use the sink and an old man with a shocking white combover and an imposing figure blanketed in black coveralls and a safety-lift belt (?) came up to me.

"You have to hold down the knob if you want it to stay on" he said.

"Thanks." I said.

It's common knowledge now as most restrooms have switched to the "Push N' Squirt" type faucet to save water (especially in Utah) but that was kind of him nonetheless. (is that really a word?) I started to lather my hands in the absence of water.

"No you gotta really hold it down if you...here." he said as he reached over and held down the knob for me so I could rinse my hands with THE LARGEST THUMB I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

That wasn't uncomfortable at all.

I quickly rinsed my hands off and thanked him to which he replied "Oh...well I use this all the time so I know how it works."

Indeed you do sir.

He lumbered closer to the sink to wash his hands and I was caught in an ethical dilemma. Do I hold the faucet down for gramps over here or do I bolt with my paper towel (used to open the door) and forget about it? He seemed like the type of person who didn't expect anything in return, but maybe he would like it if someone helped him just this once? Would my leaving without returning the favor only reinforce in his mind how much the world has changed and the kids are up to no damn good since he was a strapping young lad on the farm driving in his dad's old Ford through town and would even stop to pick up hitchhikers he would, because everybody's a somebody and if they don't have a car it don't mean they're gonna rob ya like a gypsy - unless of course Mary Sue was with him then it was straight to Merkley's Pond for a canoe ride and tuna salad sandwiches that Gus made from the cafe every Wednesday afternoon when the...

Damn you Garrison Keillor.

After my momentary lapse into Lake Wobegon Land I went with the modern-day chickenshit method and left him at the sink. He creeped me out. Sorry. He was very nice but it just wasn't going to happen.

As I opened the door (with my paper towel) I noticed on the cleaning log that Jesus apparently cleans that restroom. How nice. I shall have to comment on his excellent choice of air freshener to the manager.

Following the bathroom escapade I made it to the Cingular store where a VERY CHIPPER salesman gave me everything I needed to know and more about data and voice plans. It seems I can use my cell phone as a modem now and get internet access on my computer from that! Can you believe it? I mean, in MY day we had to hook up to a LAND line and a MODEM the size of a BOOK just to get our EMAIL and even that took all day! But with all this new-fangled technology people just aren't like they used to be. I mean, whatever happened to the time when...

Oh hell no. We're not going there. I am NOT that old.

So it was an interesting afternoon.

I'm hungry. I want fish.

PEACE OUT!!

Eau de toilette

Okay so it wasn't so bad. I wore loose-fitting beige cargo pants (NICE Banana Republic ones) and a brown polo shirt with those leather clog things I have. It worked. People were dressed about as well as me. Whew!

The event was under a HUGE tent on the west lawn. It was very festive and wedding receptionish with lovely music and all that, HOWEVER, there was no french toast. Eggs, salsa potatoes and bacon (?) but no french toast - actually no bread for that matter. It's okay though because I really don't need more french toast or bread. After breakfast a speaker came and we got to answer panel questions with these little clicker remote things a la American Idol but without the music and scary performances. My coworker refused to use the one we had to share. I wonder why? After that we listened to some other speakers, had horrible allergy attacks, then ran back inside to our offices for the allergy meds we keep in the drawers.

Overall it was fine. The day went superfast after that and I came home and fell asleep about 6 p.m. for two hours because I'm responsible like that.

DO YOU SEE WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN AWHILE??!!

I need more excitement. Maybe I'll take up skydiving. Anybody want to join me?

Wimps.

Creme de la poop

Tomorrow is the staff opening breakfast where I work.

This means I have to dress up.

My friend and coworker told me "This means no shorts or jeans." Then she laughed.

Ha ha.

What she doesn't understand is that I HATE wearing tight, stiff clothing. Being fat (yeah...I said it...FAT) and male means I not only have a large, flobby midsection but also ONE CHOICE as to what I may wear. Pants and a shirt tucked into said pants. Sucking in all that extra body fat so that you can sardine yourself into nasty polyester pants which feel as flowy as a plastic sock (pleated for extra roominess my ASS), and compromising your internal organs every time you so much as move GOD FORBID sit down DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A FUN WAY TO SPEND A MONDAY MORNING.

But this is work. Nobody ever said it was supposed to be fun.

So I must sausage case myself tomorrow morning. No excuses. The pants are in the closet pressed and the shirt is alongside them. You have no idea how much I am dreading this.

All I can say is they'd better have french toast.



Do you think they'd freak if I showed up in a toga?

Munchie Lunchies

I bought a pizza yesterday.

This is bad because I usually eat WAY too much and feel/look like crap afterwards. But, I bought one anyway. Garlic cheese bread too.

I'm at home right now for lunch. I convinced, nay, ORDERED myself to not eat the pizza nor the bread and rather feast upon the brown rice and spicy marinara I made last night. It was non-negotiable. There was to be no choice but the rice.

God that pizza was good. So was the garlic cheese bread. I'm full.

HELLLP MEEEEEE.

Vegas Pics!

Vegas! Weeeee!!

(Specifically Fremont Street and The Luxor).

Lah Vigah

Tomorrow night I am leaving for Las Vegas to celebrate my friend's birthday. My other friend will be visiting Vegas from Alabama the same weekend. She is coming back with me and staying here until Wednesday.

Though this blog post is calm and collected, please be assured I am very excited and can't want to share my pictures with y'all when I get back.

Thank you.

P.S. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Drinkypoo

Last night my friend Jackie came over and we had dinner with wine.

Lots and lots of wine.

I emailed myself last night (the modern day form of a drunken phone call) and, while I won't specify what exactly was in that email, I will say it was hilarious and a little disturbing.

This morning I found that not only had our second bottle of wine been left in the freezer all night, froze and the cork popped out leaving a small puddle of wine slush on the shelf, but also that the bottle we drank was 1.5 liters.

That's roughly two bottles.

What's even more terrifying is the fact we both ended the evening relatively sober.

This wine slush is GOOOD.

Introughspekshun

Have you ever looked at your life, who you are, what you enjoy and habits you have, then compare that to others your age and wonder what the hell went wrong? Sometimes I swear there was an orientation or training in life and normalcy and I missed it. Somebody forgot to send me the email or gave me the wrong conference room number and instead of "Life: Blending in and succeeding" I ended up in "How to make money selling painted figurines" down the hall. It's okay. Life is more interesting this way I suppose, but sometimes I just wish I were plain and normal like everyone else.

Also...garbage bags in the U.K. are called bin bags. I like that. I'm going to start referring to them as such.

Random?

Bayhgoo!!

Hi.

Sometimes the most simple thing can bring so much pleasure, can't it? I took a frozen Tilapia fillet and mango peach salsa from Costco (THANKS MOM!!), dumped them in a dish and baked at 375 for 45 minutes.

HOLY SHIT IT WAS SO GOOD.

What would have made it better would be a nice glass of Rioja but I'm about to go to hydroaerobics. I don't think pool-based exercise and booze mix too well.

Dammit.

Oh! On the happy note, my friend went to Florida for a week and a half so she gave me her share of produce from the collective farm she belongs to (no, it's not a kibbutz or something, she pays a yearly fee and picks up fresh veggies every few weeks). These are the crunchiest, tastiest most flavorful veggies I have ever had. I am chewing on a cucumber right now. MMMMM. You can join for about $180/season and I may do that next year. It works out to around $8 a week. $8 of DELICIOUSNESS if you ask me. And you did. Didn't you?

I am so making veggie soup. Does anyone have chicken stock?

When did this become a foodie blog?

What was that noise?

Did you hear that?

It sounded like...

No.

No it's the neighbor.

Anyway my new job is excellent and everyone there is really nice. I'm thinking of finishing out my Associates degree in Spring so I can take my sweet time finishing my Bachelors as general education credits expire after 10 years and mine are almost 8 years old. Did I mention tuition is free now with this new gig? Yes. FREE. You know what I'm going to do now, don't you?

Aaaaalriiiiiiiight.

Sundaydayday

Hi.

I'm doing my laundry. Usually it's done at my parents' house but I don't have the energy to schlep it all over there today. They're probably playing laundry catch-up from their vacation anyhoo (they were GONE for THREE WEEKS at the BEACH).

I'm definitely getting used to living here. While taking my clothes into the laundry room I almost subconsiously noted which machines to avoid (the dryer that actually moistens your clothes, the washer that doesn't rinse or drain), and which coin machines need a little extra persuasion to take your quarters and how to position them to ensure a return on your investment.

That's freaky. I need a life.

Speaking of that, last night I went to my friend's house for dinner (so I do have somewhat of a life I guess). I made salmon and California rolls and she made really tasty miso soup and salad. We were supposed to take pictures of the food again but SOMEBODY forgot their camera. So here's a picture of the leftovers.



Mmmmm. Feel the sushi gooooodneeeeeess.

Yeah. It looked a lot better when there were 3 million of them on a fancy platter. There's always a next time.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYPEEPS!

WOOOOO!!

Okay.

Okay okay okay.

Okay.

Sorry. Okay.

I have been busy because I GOT A NEW JOB!! YEAH!!

(Yes I realize how schitzy that sounds).

Remember how my old job took me back on a temporary basis (GRACIOUSLY) until I found a permanent job with them? Well they did and I did and MY FIRST DAY WAS TODAY.

Everyone there is hilariously nutty (just like me) so I know it will be okay. Plus I have an office! A whole office all to myself! With my name on the door! YAY!!

OH...and tomorrow is a holiday! YYYAY!!

So I'm sorry for this extended absence. I will try to be more blogilent in the future.

Gotta go...stuff beckons...

More to come! :-D

Honey Garlic Chicken

Here is the recipe per all of your requests. My friend Rebecca who came over on Saturday (I know 3 Rebeccas) emailed it to me today!

HONEY GARLIC CHICKEN

2 lbs. chicken (whatever pieces you like, but breasts and thighs work best - with skin on looks prettier)
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup olive oil
3T garlic
2T mustard
2t curry powder
1t garlic salt (or other seasoning, to taste)

Preheat oven to 350 F. Mix honey, olive oil, mustard and curry powder in a small bowl. Season chicken with garlic salt and "Slap Ya Mama" or other such seasoning (basically a spicy seasoned salt). Pour sauce over chicken. Sprinkle garlic on top and in sauce in the dish. Bake for 1-1/4 hours until chicken is golden brown, basting every 20 minutes or as desired until color is achieved. Yum!

From Rebecca's friends in Edmonton, AB. (eh!)
_______________________________________________

Here is the rice recipe from yours truly.

COSTA RICAN RICE

1 cup rice
1/2 (chopped) green pepper
1/2 (chopped) red pepper
1/4 (chopped) white onion
1 can black beans
1T Caldo de Pollo (chicken bouillon)
Olive oil (to cover bottom of pan)
A pinch of Safflower

In a large pan, sauté the rice and chopped vegetables in olive oil until the onions begin to look transparent. Add 2 cups water to the rice, the Caldo and sprinke the safflower on top. Cover and let boil as you would normal rice (about 15 minutes or until the liquid is gone). While the rice is cooking, drain and rise the black beans so the ookey crap from the can doesn't get in the rice. When the rice is done, add the black beans and serve! Yay!

Can you feel the flavah? Mmmmm.

Smelleaux.

Oh. What a nice night. My friend came over and we made an exquisite dinner of honey garlic chicken, Costa Rican rice and vegetables, laughed until our sides hurt, had brownies, then took pictures of fireworks outside. No, I don't know what they were for.

Pictures!!

Chemise nouvelle

I bought a new shirt. It was $5. I didn't need this new shirt but it was such a great deal (cheap and weird) that I HAD to have it. It's quirky. I like quirky.

What do you think?

Canadian Candy.

I sent some candy to my friend in Canada six weeks ago.

It was returned to me today.

Nobody has a clue as to why or what went wrong.

Isn't that lovely?

Dammit.

New Stuff.

Okay it's time for something happy here. Irma would be pissed. :-P

So...yesterday was AWESOME for me. Did you have a nice yesterday?

I did.

My friend and I went to the mall, bought stuff, had lunch, went to a COOL store with new age metaphysical doodads the size of a warehouse, bought some more stuff (JADE!!!), went to a funky coffee shop and watched people, then went to her deliciously appointed townhouse with suede wall treatments and Scandinavian furniture for a delectable dinner of lemon chicken, sugarsnap peas, basmati rice, HOMEMADE HUMMUS, AND dessert of strawberries with freshly made whipped cream drizzled with Grand Marnier.

Holy SHIT what a nice day. :-)

So now I am waiting for the laundry to be done and then I'm going to the supermarket for some food.

Yes I am getting Basmati rice.

Yes I will remember the strawberries.

No you can't have some.

Just kidding.

OOH! I remembered something (AMAZINGLY).

While we were at the funky coffee shop (in Sugarhouse) a woman was outside on the patio having a drink. She finished, gathered up her garbage, and promptly threw away her car keys.

Shiiiiiiit.

My friend and I watched through the window as she laughed and walked around the garbage can looking from every angle. The coffee shop is on a busy street so people were walking by and several stopped to help. Soon there was a crowd of people helping her lift and turn the can (one of those city ones with the pebbles on the sides) to get the keys. Finally she got them and everyone cheered. She came running in and said to one of the baristas "Hey Ken!! Guess what?? I threw away my keys! Woohoo!" as she bolted to the restroom (hopefully to wash the keys and her hands).

What really made it perfect was that we didn't hear anything but the soft, friendly music (some introspective local musician) playing in the background as we watched. It was too perfect and renewed my faith in humankind.

Don't you love it when that happens?

So anyway I have to get my laundry. Bye!

Irma Alicia Garcia, 1984-2006

I don't want to do this. But I will.

While I was working as a reading tutor in an elementary school I met her. She was one of those people who seem to have known you in a previous life or something like that. Talking openly and honestly about everything in my life was not a big deal with her and she felt the same way. After a few conversations we decided to hang out. We drank the night away at her friend's place playing goofed up Uno and I couldn't remember having more fun any other time in my life. It just clicked.

Later, through her, I would not only discover new and wonderful people from many diverse backgrounds but also develop a Latino identity that was there all along - it just didn't have someone to coax it out. She was the one who took me to a club for the first time, and who taught me how to salsa dance. When I seemed to catch on (for a little bit) she told me "It's in your blood!" as the music blared around us. I believed her.

She was like a sister. In the short time I knew her we acquired so many inside jokes and references it was like speaking another language when anyone else was around. We had a favorite song. There was even a long and complicated story as to why that song (Choke Me, Spank Me (Pull My Hair) by Xzibit) was our favorite song as we both found it atrocious.

Around her and the friends she introduced me to, I felt so safe and comfortable in my own skin. She was comfortable in her skin too. That's why it worked so well. She was never, ever afraid to look at something from a different angle. She was never afraid to consider what the other side had to say in any issue - which is why she would have made one hell of an attorney. Her dream was to become a Civil Rights attorney and fight for equality and freedom. That was so important to her.

Irma died last week in a car accident in Mexico. I don't really know much else at this point but a memorial service will be held Friday for her in Missouri. I wish I could go but I know she would understand why I couldn't right now. Due to her ROTC obligations she had to put law school on hold for another few years. I just wish she could have made it. There are so many people who could have used her help.

If anyone who knew her is reading this, will you contact me? We need to have a memorial service for her here too.

Besitos, Irmy. Te amo mucho mi vida.

Slammo!!

My friend Rebecca and I had brunch last weekend at Eggs in the City. It was so good! Since I hadn't seen her in so long, I decided to take photographic evidence...I don't know when we'll see each other again...she's a little nuts but was very willing to allow it just this once.

After brunchie munchies I took pictures of the neighborhood. If you're local you'll know it well. Enjoy!