Jesus.
Here I am. Still here. Still alive. Still living in Oregon. But you all know that. Many of you know all this and a written story isn't going to change much. I'm not even sure anyone can read this due to the privacy settings I don't know how to switch. So, hello if you can actually read this.
I'm in Salt Lake City right now. I'm at the airport with my coworker. We were here for a conference. It has been surreal. I don't think I care for it. There's too much here. Too much beauty. Too much pain. Too many memories. Too many painful thoughts and feelings of disconnection. This isn't new. It's always how I've felt. It's all just too much.
I've always been fat, too. I don't mean to say that in an effort to insult myself. Fat is a descriptive word which can be used to reference a human body with an excess of cutaneous and subcutaneous fat cells. I've lost and gained and lost and gained and lost...you get it. With the exception of a few times in my late 20's and early 30's, I have remained fat. Or, if we're going to get technical, I have remained as someone with an excess of fat cells that create physical and logistical obstacles to daily life. There. Prim and proper.
It's interesting how I've managed to keep some chunks of my existence moving forward at rapid speed while others sit frozen and unmoving. My career doesn't exist. I am an office administrator who got lucky and had a ton of extra non-administrative duties plopped on my plate since I work for a small college with limited staff. I've had the opportunity to travel for work and attend (and present at) conferences and trainings. Yet, on paper, I am an office administrator. I am "The Help." I don't feel like I am. I certainly have enjoyed experiences most don't enjoy working as office administrators so I don't think I have to limit myself by saying that's "all" I am. Except it kind of is, in some ways.
Again, chunks of my life are flying ahead while others sit unmoving.
Fucking shit. There are GIANT bolts of lightning outside and we are being called to board?!
Thursday, June 13, 2019
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Happiness is a clean bedroom.
You know, it really is. I just scoured the hell out of it today and have to say, I am damn excited to go to bed tonight.
In fact, that's where I'm headed right now.
Night night. :)
In fact, that's where I'm headed right now.
Night night. :)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Happy Sunday!
Hello!
Today the weather was just gorgeous. So gorgeous, in fact, that I sat for a good 25 minutes staring out the sliding glass door drinking tea this morning. I sat there long enough to take a picture:
Fantastic!
WITNESS THE MAJESTY!
Today the weather was just gorgeous. So gorgeous, in fact, that I sat for a good 25 minutes staring out the sliding glass door drinking tea this morning. I sat there long enough to take a picture:
Fantastic!
After tea and picture, I rode my bike (shown in the picture) to the market nearby with Becka for some produce and other various and sundry. It was awesome! Cars aren't scaring me nearly as much as they did a week ago, and crossing busy streets is becoming easier too - plus there are bike lanes everywhere. Hooray! Biking errands are the best!
Returning home, it was still beautiful outside and I still wanted to be out in the good weather. So, I decided to ride the MAX (Metropolitan Area Express) downtown. There is a stop right at my complex and it's only about a 20 minute ride.
GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS?
Yes. Another slideshow. You guessed it.
COME EXPERIENCE THE JOURNEY WITH ME from my apartment to the mall (Pioneer Place Mall, to be exact) downtown through a PHOTOGRAPHIC JOURNAL.
You're stoked now, aren't you? You know you are. Stuff written in caps always makes it more enticing.
Returning home, it was still beautiful outside and I still wanted to be out in the good weather. So, I decided to ride the MAX (Metropolitan Area Express) downtown. There is a stop right at my complex and it's only about a 20 minute ride.
GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS?
Yes. Another slideshow. You guessed it.
COME EXPERIENCE THE JOURNEY WITH ME from my apartment to the mall (Pioneer Place Mall, to be exact) downtown through a PHOTOGRAPHIC JOURNAL.
You're stoked now, aren't you? You know you are. Stuff written in caps always makes it more enticing.
WITNESS THE MAJESTY!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
HAPPY BACON DAY!
What? You've never heard of Bacon Day? Well, let me tell you all about it.
In 1999, my sister found a pig-shaped cookie cutter at the thrift store. We thought it was hilarious, because when would you want to give someone a cookie shaped like a pig? Really? The only way we figured you could give someone that and not have it come across as positively insulting ("Here...I made you a cookie...it's shaped LIKE A PIG.") is if you had a holiday to justify it's odd existence. The lone cookie cutter definitely needed one of those.
Soon after, my sister and I were watching The Simpsons, and Marge surprised Homer for their anniversary - which he had forgotten about. He started running through possible reasons for her unexpected gift in his mind and came up with "Bacon Day". Luckily for him, he realized that was "crazy talk" and she couldn't possibly be surprising him for Bacon Day.
At that moment, watching The Simpsons, right after Homer said those two magical words, we looked at each other and knew what we had to do. Bacon Day was created. The cookie cutter was named "Porky Pigfat" and became the mascot of our new holiday. His likeness has graced many a Bacon Day banner, and there is even a board game created to honor him.
(Really. We drew up a board and everything.)
Every May 15th (or closest Saturday), we have celebrated the World of Pork. Even though my sister and I live in different states, we have made sure to keep the holiday alive.
Each dish must feature some sort of pork or pork-like product in it, and there are a few traditional favorites - much like a Thanksgiving turkey or Christmas ham (but far, far less widespread or significant). Velveeta shells and cheese with hot dogs, for example, should grace one's table at Bacon Day lunch. Another holiday favorite is pizza topped with Canadian Bacon, and even just a plate of the namesake meat itself. Buying different kinds of bacon and trying them all is another way to enjoy the day. In the early years, we would make sugar cookies WITH THE VERY COOKIE CUTTER ITSELF and have decorating contests. If you can actually find a pig-shaped cookie cutter, I would do that too!
There is a Wikipedia entry stating that a group of Colorado grad students came up with a holiday of the same name in 2004 BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT IS NOT THE BACON DAY I CHOOSE TO OBSERVE and our Bacon Day was conceived five years prior to that one. Plus we have Porky.
So there.
Anyhow, Happy Bacon Day to you and yours, and I hope you had a great day of porcine indulgence!
Hooray!
P.S. If you click on the photo, you can see notes identifying each item on the table.
P.P.S. I am having a bacon coma now.
In 1999, my sister found a pig-shaped cookie cutter at the thrift store. We thought it was hilarious, because when would you want to give someone a cookie shaped like a pig? Really? The only way we figured you could give someone that and not have it come across as positively insulting ("Here...I made you a cookie...it's shaped LIKE A PIG.") is if you had a holiday to justify it's odd existence. The lone cookie cutter definitely needed one of those.
Soon after, my sister and I were watching The Simpsons, and Marge surprised Homer for their anniversary - which he had forgotten about. He started running through possible reasons for her unexpected gift in his mind and came up with "Bacon Day". Luckily for him, he realized that was "crazy talk" and she couldn't possibly be surprising him for Bacon Day.
At that moment, watching The Simpsons, right after Homer said those two magical words, we looked at each other and knew what we had to do. Bacon Day was created. The cookie cutter was named "Porky Pigfat" and became the mascot of our new holiday. His likeness has graced many a Bacon Day banner, and there is even a board game created to honor him.
(Really. We drew up a board and everything.)
Every May 15th (or closest Saturday), we have celebrated the World of Pork. Even though my sister and I live in different states, we have made sure to keep the holiday alive.
Each dish must feature some sort of pork or pork-like product in it, and there are a few traditional favorites - much like a Thanksgiving turkey or Christmas ham (but far, far less widespread or significant). Velveeta shells and cheese with hot dogs, for example, should grace one's table at Bacon Day lunch. Another holiday favorite is pizza topped with Canadian Bacon, and even just a plate of the namesake meat itself. Buying different kinds of bacon and trying them all is another way to enjoy the day. In the early years, we would make sugar cookies WITH THE VERY COOKIE CUTTER ITSELF and have decorating contests. If you can actually find a pig-shaped cookie cutter, I would do that too!
There is a Wikipedia entry stating that a group of Colorado grad students came up with a holiday of the same name in 2004 BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT IS NOT THE BACON DAY I CHOOSE TO OBSERVE and our Bacon Day was conceived five years prior to that one. Plus we have Porky.
So there.
Anyhow, Happy Bacon Day to you and yours, and I hope you had a great day of porcine indulgence!
Hooray!
P.S. If you click on the photo, you can see notes identifying each item on the table.
P.P.S. I am having a bacon coma now.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Hello Spring!
I am going to celebrate you with a new bicycle!
When I moved here, Becka and I started talking about how fabulous it would be to have bicycles, as we are in Biking Capital, U.S.A. Many times we would chat about how lovely it would be to get bikes, ride around, and frolic. Who wouldn't want to do that? Who wouldn't want to frolic?
Well, two days ago, we started looking at them in stores. She could sense my discomfort with purchasing something relatively large, but was persistent with statements like "Bikes are good! You will have so much fun!" and so forth. I'm glad she was. For those of you who don't know, spending more than $20 on anything at all...ANYTHING...holds the risk of breaking me down into a sobby pile of weeping mush. I once bought a $45 DVD set, went home, panicked, started to cry, then rushed back to return it without even opening the package (true story - unfortunately). Perhaps this comes from my days as a "starving student", perhaps it's a reaction to being out here on my own without parental support, or perhaps I am a little crazy. Who knows? Maybe all of the above.
Probably all of the above.
In any case, she gently persuaded me to TAKE the LEAP and BUY A BICYCLE today. She even bought one too! We brought them home today and just got done riding around the neighborhood a little bit and it was SO AWESOME! We were GIDDY! GIDDY and EXCITED like LITTLE CHILDREN!!
Wow. So glad I didn't listen to the voices in my head telling me not to buy it. Do you know why? Because tomorrow it's supposed to be sunny. Riding a bicycle is in order.
WAHOO!
When I moved here, Becka and I started talking about how fabulous it would be to have bicycles, as we are in Biking Capital, U.S.A. Many times we would chat about how lovely it would be to get bikes, ride around, and frolic. Who wouldn't want to do that? Who wouldn't want to frolic?
Well, two days ago, we started looking at them in stores. She could sense my discomfort with purchasing something relatively large, but was persistent with statements like "Bikes are good! You will have so much fun!" and so forth. I'm glad she was. For those of you who don't know, spending more than $20 on anything at all...ANYTHING...holds the risk of breaking me down into a sobby pile of weeping mush. I once bought a $45 DVD set, went home, panicked, started to cry, then rushed back to return it without even opening the package (true story - unfortunately). Perhaps this comes from my days as a "starving student", perhaps it's a reaction to being out here on my own without parental support, or perhaps I am a little crazy. Who knows? Maybe all of the above.
Probably all of the above.
In any case, she gently persuaded me to TAKE the LEAP and BUY A BICYCLE today. She even bought one too! We brought them home today and just got done riding around the neighborhood a little bit and it was SO AWESOME! We were GIDDY! GIDDY and EXCITED like LITTLE CHILDREN!!
Wow. So glad I didn't listen to the voices in my head telling me not to buy it. Do you know why? Because tomorrow it's supposed to be sunny. Riding a bicycle is in order.
WAHOO!
Monday, May 03, 2010
Window candle times (with laptop).
Happiness is placing some tealights on your windowsill and turning off all the lights...but leaving the laptop on by accident.
Aaahhhhh. Relaxing. :)
Aaahhhhh. Relaxing. :)
Saturday, April 17, 2010
City Musings.
I have always wanted to live in a city. As a child, I was raised in the suburbs, which definitely has its benefits, but it was never quite as urban as I wanted it to be. Sure, there were plenty of places to go play, run, scream, imagine, be silly, etc., but it always felt like there was more out there I wasn't experiencing - more sights, sounds, noises and interesting people - and hoped some day to have that life.
In college, I lived in a small city near the downtown area. Though school responsibilities had to take priority over exploration, I still went out and wandered as much as possible (resulting, of course, in leaving school without a degree). Simply going into the central business district and walking around on the street was enough to entertain me for hours. I am addicted.
Now, I live in a much larger city and an extremely beautiful one at that. However, pine tree-covered hills separate me from downtown. Granted, it is only a short drive or train ride away (20-25 mins), the train stops at my complex, and the trees are quite pleasant to gaze upon, but it's not DOWNTOWN. Traffic does not float by my window at night. People aren't outside my front door at shops and cafes, chatting away. Though there are two supermarkets nearby, I have to take my car (or risk getting run over crossing the busy highway).
Honestly, I love this place. My roommate and I got an incredible deal, are still very close to downtown, have our own washer and dryer, huge closets, cathedral ceilings, great shopping nearby (with a car), yadda yadda. I KNOW it's a good deal and I KNOW it's definitely a great place to live - and love it here. But there's a little voice in the back of my head saying "Are you downtown? Where is the traffic noise? You're not getting any younger..." That childhood dream of walking to the corner store to pick up a few things for dinner, then taking an elevator to my home in a tower fades a little bit each passing year.
Damnit, I am not giving up. Some day, even if I'm 800 years old, I will live in a freaking tower and take a freaking elevator to get to my house. It just can't be that hard.
Just wait and see. I'll do it. Then you can come over. But please stop at the corner store first.
I'm out of Fresca.
In college, I lived in a small city near the downtown area. Though school responsibilities had to take priority over exploration, I still went out and wandered as much as possible (resulting, of course, in leaving school without a degree). Simply going into the central business district and walking around on the street was enough to entertain me for hours. I am addicted.
Now, I live in a much larger city and an extremely beautiful one at that. However, pine tree-covered hills separate me from downtown. Granted, it is only a short drive or train ride away (20-25 mins), the train stops at my complex, and the trees are quite pleasant to gaze upon, but it's not DOWNTOWN. Traffic does not float by my window at night. People aren't outside my front door at shops and cafes, chatting away. Though there are two supermarkets nearby, I have to take my car (or risk getting run over crossing the busy highway).
Honestly, I love this place. My roommate and I got an incredible deal, are still very close to downtown, have our own washer and dryer, huge closets, cathedral ceilings, great shopping nearby (with a car), yadda yadda. I KNOW it's a good deal and I KNOW it's definitely a great place to live - and love it here. But there's a little voice in the back of my head saying "Are you downtown? Where is the traffic noise? You're not getting any younger..." That childhood dream of walking to the corner store to pick up a few things for dinner, then taking an elevator to my home in a tower fades a little bit each passing year.
Damnit, I am not giving up. Some day, even if I'm 800 years old, I will live in a freaking tower and take a freaking elevator to get to my house. It just can't be that hard.
Just wait and see. I'll do it. Then you can come over. But please stop at the corner store first.
I'm out of Fresca.
Columbia Renaissance Trail.
This is a photo from the beach along the Columbia Renaissance Trail. It has become one of my most favorite places to go in Portland. Well, technically it's in Vancouver, but it's right across the river and I can see Portland so there you go.
It's nice! There are restaurants and condos and stuff behind me. Also, from time to time, boats and cargo ships go by, making it feel all "harbory" with the horns and salty sea air with seagulls and such and THAT, my friends, is probably one of my most favorite things ever.
Best place!
It's nice! There are restaurants and condos and stuff behind me. Also, from time to time, boats and cargo ships go by, making it feel all "harbory" with the horns and salty sea air with seagulls and such and THAT, my friends, is probably one of my most favorite things ever.
Best place!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
